Memories of a Better Life
by unToasTed ToasT
Summary: The past was a time when the word 'brother' was more than just a word. When it held a meaning beyond the bindings of kinship. When it meant love. (yaoi. nothing too bad hence the pg-13 rating. SessInu)


Disclaimer: I don't own anything! If anything these characters own me... o.O

Warning: Yaoi, _really_ sad stuff... This is just a one-shot. There will be NO het and no way for me to add any. Not that I would...

Pairing: Sess/Inu (sorry ZiL, I had too or the evil little yaoi pixies in my closet will kill me...)

Summary: The past was a time when the word 'brother' was more than just a word. When it held a meaning beyond the bindings of kinship. When it meant love. (Sesshomaru's POV except for the memories in italics. But that's rather obvious...)

Memories of a Better Life

"How long has it been Inuyasha, since we haven't wanted to kill one another? Do you even remember that time? I do and far too well. Do you remember that you used to care? That I used to care?" I stared down at my brother, waiting for some kind of a response.

A nod.

He remembers.

"Do you remember when you would try and catch me? I was hoping you would, but afraid you didn't." I smiled at him. Something I rarely do and he obviously likes to see me smile, as he's smiling now as well. "As much as we've fought in the past, I've never forgotten the last time we chased one another."

"I've tried not to...but I...I don't remember much." Inuyasha admits quietly.

"Shh. This is a time for you to listen." I need to make him remember everything. I need to.

_- - -_

_Inuyasha ran fast through the trees, trying his hardest to catch Sesshomaru. "Damn it Sesshomaru! Why do you have to be so fast!?" He yelled out, laughing at the same time._

_"Because, Inuyasha, if I wasn't you would be able to catch me." Sesshomaru replied tauntingly with a small chuckle._

_"Come on! Let me catch you, just this once!" Inuyasha pleaded, running as fast as his legs would carry him. A branch from a tree scraped across the young hanyou's face drawing a small amount of blood._

_Little by little Sesshomaru slowed down until Inuyasha was able to catch him._

_Inuyasha tackled Sesshomaru into a tree and laughed smugly. "Gotchya."_

_"Only because I let you."_

_- - -_

"Do you remember what happened after you caught me?"

A smile. Faint, but still a smile. "Refresh my memory." Inuyasha said, his voice low.

"Gladly." Is it right that I'm afraid? Normal...?

- - -

_Sesshomaru quirked an eyebrow and pushed Inuyasha over onto the ground. He had both of the hanyou's wrists pinned in his left hand and long silver hair fell around them like a curtain. "Now tell me, who is it that has who?" He asked, a smile flickering at the corners of his mouth._

_Inuyasha sighed in defeat. "You always win!" He said almost in a whine._

_"That's right little brother. But only because you let me."_

_"What? You win because you're faster and stronger." Inuyasha stated. What was Sesshomaru talking about?_

_"No. I win because you're afraid that if you do, you will regret what happens." Sesshomaru still kept Inuyasha's arms pinned to the ground, but brought his free hand up to caress the side of the hanyou's face. "You're afraid."_

_Inuyasha gulped nervously. "Am not." He tried to say defensively, though it was far too hesitant to be taken seriously._

_"You are..." Sesshomaru leaned in to close the gap between himself and Inuyasha. "I can smell it." He slowly licked the scratch on Inuyasha's cheek, cleaning away the blood._

_A sharp intake of breath from Inuyasha told Sesshomaru that he was exactly right._

_"If you aren't afraid..." Sesshomaru moved forward just a little, "why are you shaking?" He whispered into one of Inuyasha's oversensitive dog-ears, sending a large shudder down his spine._

- - -

"Sesshomaru..." Inuyasha began quietly.

"What is it?" I asked, running a hand through his long black hair.

"Why can't I remember?" He asked, tears forming in his eyes. "I want to remember..."

"Don't worry so much. I remember. That's what matters."

The salty tears fell silently down my brother's cheeks. "But-"

I silenced him with a small kiss. "I'll help you remember. Are you comfortable?"

Inuyasha snuggled into my chest with a small nod and silently begged me to continue.

I'm terrified now. And I believe it is normal for me to feel like this... for anyone to feel like this at such a time.

_- - -_

_"I'm shaking because you just licked me." Inuyasha retorted._

_Sesshomaru smirked. "Most people don't shake when they're licked by their brother."_

_Inuyasha closed his eyes to keep from looking at Sesshomaru. "How do you know?"_

_"Because I'm older and wiser than you." Sesshomaru breathed, his hot breath tickling Inuyasha's cheek. "And I think I know why." He smiled when Inuyasha opened his eyes to stare, obviously shocked._

_"...How?"_

_"You truly are naïve little brother. I can smell your want." Sesshomaru licked his lips. "I can feel your need for me."_

_Inuyasha's breathing speeded up. Damn. He wasn't supposed to know. No one was supposed to know. No one._

_Sesshomaru slowly lowered his lips until they met Inuyasha's. The hanyou's eyes widened in shock and his entire body froze. What exactly was Sesshomaru doing that for?_

_Inuyasha tried to pull his head away from Sesshomaru so he could ask him what the hell he was doing, but the elder youkai refused to let him. Sesshomaru gripped Inuyasha's chin in his hand and ran his tongue over his lips. "This is what you want, is it not little brother?"_

_Inuyasha stared. He couldn't answer. Couldn't speak. Not with Sesshomaru laying over him and kissing him._

_"I shall take your lack of an answer as a yes." Sesshomaru smirked and gently bit down on Inuyasha's neck causing him to yelp. He licked the small bite gently as if an apology, though Inuyasha knew better. Sesshomaru never says he's sorry._

_"Why.... why... are you.....doing this?" Inuyasha managed to choke out. It's very difficult to concentrate on talking when one extremely sexy youkai is nipping and licking at your neck..._

_Inuyasha could feel Sesshomaru smile against his skin. "Because I want to."_

_Within seconds Sesshomaru claimed Inuyasha's lips causing the young hanyou to whimper. And it wasn't long before Inuyasha was kissing back with his hands tangled in Sesshomaru's hair._

- - -

"Is it necessary that I remind you what happened next?" I asked, trying my hardest not to be upset. I couldn't let him see me upset at a time like this. I need to be strong. Like I always am...

Inuyasha looked up at me. "No. I remember." A smile flickered across his all-too-human features.

Damnit. "Are you alright?" He looks so pale...so fragile.

"Cold."

No...don't say that. I wrapped my tail around him in an effort to warm him up. An effort I knew would fail. "Better?" Miserably.

He nodded. "A little..."

I pulled him closer to me and let my arms rest around his waist. Now what? Do we just wait?

"Stars are pretty tonight." He muttered. I looked up. I suppose they are. Somehow though, they look so sad.

"Yes." I replied. "They are." I felt Inuyasha's arms snake around my back and hold one another.

So there we sat. I was holding him, he was holding me. And I watched him. For what seemed like forever.

Until his hands fell from my back and his eyes closed.

"Rest well little brother." I whispered as I placed a small kiss on his forehead. I felt myself crying. That was the first and last time I would ever cry.

_- - -_

_"I love you Sesshomaru." Inuyasha said into Sesshomaru's neck._

_The elder youkai smiled to himself. "I love you as well, Inuyasha."_

_"Will you stay with me forever?"_

_"If I can."_

_"Really?"_

_"...Yes. Now sleep, wont you?"_

_Inuyasha smiled and snuggled further into Sesshomaru's arms. "Okay..."_

- - -

"I'm sorry I lied Inuyasha. Sorry I ever hurt you." I stood and lifted Inuyasha's limp body, now back in its true form. I'll give him a proper burial. "Sorry for everything."

He deserves that much from me.

Me, his sorry excuse of a brother.

-end-


End file.
